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wait don’t tell me, figuring it out yourself

March 31, 2015 by

Some of you may listen to the NPR Quiz Show, “Wait, wait don’t tell me”, or have been in that frustrating state of trying to remember or do something and imploring someone, “Wait, don’t tell me”… Along with the desire to come up with the answer independently, is the satisfaction of figuring it out on your own.

This past week I encountered that situation. Every year I participate in a psychotherapy conference in Washington DC. In addition to clinical courses, creative arts workshops are offered to allow us to grow by getting out of our heads and using our bodies. I chose the Clay class.

I’ve always admired and collected ceramics and wondered how it would be to create a clay piece. Our instructor gave us tools, clay, brief demos, colleagues for support, and permission to play. It was heaven manipulating the clay and seeing what emerged. We worked on small tables of 5, all creating unique projects.

After watching people throw pots on a wheel, I was intrigued to try it myself. Maybe this could become a hobby for me and I would become good at it. In addition to supporting artists, I could become one and share my gifts with others… To be honest, I wasn’t dreaming that far afield. I was just curious to try something new.

Another student centered a blob of clay on my wheel and then it was me alone with the clay. Being mindful of the instructor’s demonstration, I started the wheel and touched the cold clay.

I didn’t really know what I was doing, but took my cue from the clay. When it felt dry and my hands couldn’t shape it, I would add water. When it seemed off center, I gently moved it back into equilibrium. It felt like the moving wheel and clay were in charge and I was a minor onlooker. This was fun.

No one was there telling me how to do it. At times I thought, “I need to ask for help, I need to find the correct way to do this”. But just as quickly as that urge arose, I responded with “Wait, see if you can figure it out on your own”. I liked that freedom and risk taking.

I doubted something huge could go wrong. At one point I drew out a thin lip of the pot. It looked cool and then, in a flash it flew off the wheel. Oh well, that was ok. I just started over. No biggie.

“We cannot teach people anything, we can only help them discover it within themselves”

Galileo

What were my take aways from that day with clay? I enjoyed the hand building and wheel working experiences. I felt relaxed expressing myself with my hands. And felt positive that clay is something I’d like to try again. I challenged those early childhood messages, “You don’t have talent”, by simply investigating an interest.

Why not pursue something new and different that exposes you to unique experiences? Why not stretch yourself?

What does playing with clay have to do with Career Transitions? Getting curious about an alternate career field or job happens when people are ready for a change. That urge to shake things up and immerse yourself in another environment represents a voice calling you. You’ve heard it.

Sometimes you ignore the call because you can’t attend to it right away. Sometimes it gets so loud or falls in your lap that you just have to take it on. Sometimes you give yourself permission to take a peek.

Just like in clay class, you need some orientation, some tools, some encouragement and even some fellow seekers to support you. You may charge ahead with purpose or feel lost and want some direction.

Based on my experience, I encourage you to make times when you follow your heart, investigate interests, avoid asking for the answer first and envelop yourself in the multiple possibilities.

Steps to get started:

Ask what’s calling you
Find a way to experience it
Engage your head and body
What are the lessons?
Decide what’s next

Happy Trails and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Self Knowledge Tagged With: , ,

readiness for retirement: your time to plan

February 7, 2015 by

When is the right time to start planning for retirement? There are people in their 40’s who say “I’m too young to think about that” or people in their 30’s who already have a vision of the various career chapters they want to pursue until their last breath.

What actually is retirement? Why do some people love “retirement” and others feel they should have never retired? Let’s be clear. The term retirement is outdated and unrepresentative. We lack consensus on a more accurate term, but some suggestions are: Act II, Renewment, Encore, My Time, Refirement, and Next Chapter.

Historically most people retired at 65 when eligible for Social Security and Medicare benefits. Often they no longer worked for pay. Today the average age of retirement from a main career is 62 and most retirees are wanting or having to find new paid work. So retirement is not a disengagement from work, but a transition to a new way of living.

Work in retirement will become increasingly commonplace. Seventy-two percent of pre-retirees over 50 say their ideal retirement will include working. Nearly 58% of working retirees transition to a different line of work and they are 3 times as likely to start their own business than younger people. This encore work is fast becoming the fourth leg of retirement financing along with Social Security, pensions, and savings.

Due to medical advances we have gained 30 years of life expectancy in the 20th century. In 1900 Americans lived to an average age of 47. Today it is 79 and rising. A 60 year old today has a life expectancy of 81.6 years. So at 65 you may have 20+ years to use as you wish. Working on your own terms for pay or love may be part of that life. Options include: bridge jobs, part time work, contracting, entrepreneurship, volunteer/civic engagement opportunities, phased retirement, consulting, job sharing, temporary work, seasonal, or encore careers.

Comparing your current with desired life style (how you live) and your livelihood (how you work) allows you to design a life portfolio that meets your vision of the future. In fact people will plan multiple retirements or transitions as they create new opportunities for themselves.

Mark is a real estate agent who is 60. While he loves working with new clients and helping them find their dream homes, Mark has begun thinking about other ways to contribute. After 30 years in his career, Mark is eager to try something new. Through talking with his wife and friends, reading, and taking courses, Mark is designing his next chapter and beyond. He is drawing a timeline with the steps needed to transition into becoming a self employed CPA. Mark figures he can work as much as he wants and needs, but also take time off in slow periods. He likes the idea of learning new skills, becoming more flexible, and continuing to help people.

You may have dreams of your own. What everyone shares is a drive to establish an authentic lifestyle along with determining what financials are needed to support it. The reasons people seek retirement are varied. Some leave work voluntarily and others are let go. Some run from an unsatisfying career and others exit to pursue a new passion. Taking an annual review of what’s going well and what’s missing in your life allows you to become aware of your values, interests, and goals. From that knowledge you can begin a thoughtful plan toward self directed change.

“We spend the first half of our lives learning what we love, we should find a way to do those things in the second”

David Whyte

It’s vital to replace the perks of our current career: the friendships, roles, purpose, money, creativity, stimulation, identity and structure. A full life includes relationships, engagement, health, giving back, activity, learning, and passions.

Initial Action Steps:

Create and implement a financial plan that reflects your vision and values
Take action to improve your diet, exercise, sleep and stress reduction
Ask yourself whether your work is fulfilling. If not, brainstorm ways to change it
Evaluate your relationships, leisure time, and happiness. What actions will you take?

Rewire and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design Tagged With: , , ,

pausa: using a break to transform your career

January 29, 2015 by

cala luna cave

For most of us, life moves very rapidly. We jump from responsibilities to activities to thoughts and worries. It’s like we are on an automatic walkway. If we slow down, we risk falling off and all the balls we are juggling will drop. The extreme dis-ease of busyness prevents us from finding greater clarity.

Sometimes it takes a planned immersion into a slower moving culture to have the space to reflect and explore where your career is headed. I love to escape the cold of winter and travel closer to the Equator where life seems sleepy and steamy. Usually vacations afford us that time to slow down and leave behind heavy obligations. Pair that opportunity with an unhurried, warm community and you have the “pausa” which gives a break and allows your creative juices to flow.

When is the last time you took a “break” from your career? A career transition point can occur by choice or involuntarily. It can become a huge change or a small re-direction. You can be let go or you can let yourself leave.

If you are pleased at work, you may not pause to consider why. If you are in discomfort, you may lack the stamina to create new solutions. Both scenarios require your attention.

Consider those people who design their own career transition points on a regular basis through sabbaticals or project work. They view their commitments as short term, temporary. As such, they are regularly considering their interests and needs. Sylvia uses her I.T. expertise to work when needed and takes off to travel the world when she has a sufficient nest egg. She is continually asking herself, “what do I want now, personally and professionally?” Loyalty and status are not values for Sylvia. Freedom and flexibility are.

Business owners tend to actively review and regularly design their next steps. They employ a structured break or retreat to insure they are heading in the desired direction. Matt takes time quarterly to view the trends in his sales volume. He compares these figures with his annual goals. Additionally, he takes a reading break to stay on top of advancements in his field and sets up focus groups to get client input. Sometimes he takes a short vacation to completely unplug.

For those of you who are employees, often your career direction appears dictated by your organization and its leaders. You question what level of input you have as to your ongoing course. Your choices feel limited. But is that so?

As we mature in our career and life, we seek variety, change, and fulfillment. This desire propels us to become more proactive in our career path. Traditionally, annual reviews are a time for the employee to create growth goals and to express desires for the future. But who’s to say this is the only opportunity both for a review and a voice?

If you were to operate more as a free agent in your job, you would be alert to opportunities to improve performance and brainstorm ways to attract growth. As an employee it’s common to dream of how you would operate if you were the boss. But what stops you from advocating those ideas for everyone’s benefit?

Twenty years from now, you’ll be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do, than by the things you did do. So throw off the bowlines! Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, dream, and discover.”
Mark Twain

Creating a Career “Pausa”

Schedule a break
Luxuriate in nothingness
Be in an unfamiliar space
Get curious around possibilities
Try on one new perspective

Relax and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions Tagged With: , ,

career year end review: wins and lessons

December 29, 2014 by

Sonnenuntergang in den Bergen
It’s common to make New Year resolutions at this time, but how many of you review the year you are exiting? Especially in work life, whether you work for yourself or others, you can learn lessons to guide your progress and growth.

If you were to close your eyes and scan over the past 12 months, what stands out? Is it that fantastic trip you took, or precious time spent with friends and family, or does something work-related make you smile?

Most of us need to work to earn a living, but what else does your career bring you? What are the meaningful parts of your role? What keeps you engaged? What demonstrates that your efforts matter?

Lisa works in the healing arts and is reminded that her hard work matters when clients praise the positive results of her efforts. Harry, a musician, is motivated to continue long hours of practice when audiences cheer and return to experience his superb performances. Tony feels recognized when his boss salutes him in meetings and hands over more authority.

While exterior validation feels yummy, what are you hearing inside yourself? What’s going well from your perspective? How do you measure success in your work? Is it quantitative, objective, or emotional? By making yearly career goals it is possible to evaluate your progress. This can be the year to begin a structured process to know where you are:

1. List your most important career Wins of the last year. For example, these could be advancements in pay or responsibility, completion of projects, or advanced skill development. Karen was asked to take on new responsibilities when a co-worder suddenly left. While she felt unprepared to carry out unfamiliar duties, Karen jumped in. She grew new skills by working with a mentor as well as taking an online course. Now Karen is amazed and proud of what she can do.

2. Make note of those times when you are in Flow: you are so immersed that time flies by. Analyze the pattern of those times. Are you working with a team, creating something unique, or using a skill you are very comfortable with? Marty finds whenever he is thinking outside the box, he is extremely satisfied and excited.

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life”

Jean Shinoda Bolen

3. List your Lessons learned: those things you love to do, those you’d rather avoid, your system for finding solutions. Sarah realizes she is better having great independence than being micro-managed. Often failures while painful, can teach us a great deal. Bob took a risk with a friend to start a new business. They were matched in their talents and ended up competing in decision making because they lacked complementary skills.

4. Appreciate all the Skills you have used as well as new ones gained. Imagine how these skills can be transferable. Marion is a great cheer leader for her team. She can translate those skills into leadership and management opportunities.

5. What Risks paid off the most this year? Stretching out of your box and doing something new lead to growth. Which one of these risks reaped returns? Was the “pain” worth the “gain”?

6. List the new Relationships you have made and how you want to prosper from their existence. Bob joined the Board of a non-profit and is meeting professionals outside of his field. It is bringing an infusion of viewpoints and personalities that spice up his life.

Once you have an overview of this year’s work, it’s time to look ahead. What do you want for yourself in the future? Set your intentions. Where do you want to be? Is it staying where you are, moving to a new role in the same organization, or is it time to move out? People put off making changes waiting for the planets to align, but the reality is that nothing will be perfectly timed for a change. You can make the change now on your terms or have change happen to you without your input.

“Life has no smooth road for any of us and in the bracing atmosphere of a high aim the very roughness stimulates the climber to steadier steps, till the legend, over steep ways to the stars, fulfills itself”

WC Doane

Whatever you decide, it helps to have an accountability partner to brainstorm goals, steps, and review progress. Whether this partner is a peer, a colleague, or a professional coach matters less than the act of committing to a regular process.

So look back before you look ahead:

Make sense of this year
Write your “take aways”
Keep what you like
Discard the rest
Take a new step forward

Be bold and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design, Self Knowledge Tagged With: , , ,

career exit strategies, making a plan, part 2

November 30, 2014 by

Two buses on highway in motion blur

“You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free”

This chorus from the 70’s Paul Simon song “50 Ways to Leave your Lover” playfully talks about a very painful process: leaving a relationship. Perhaps you wish you could have 50 Ways to Leave your Current Job. About the only way above you can seriously use is “Make a New Plan”…

Your uncovered answers from last month to what you care about, what gets you in flow, and when you are at your best lead you to some clues regarding how you want to be spending your time. But often, we don’t believe we can earn money at something we truly love. You think: if only I could, if only it wasn’t so hard or impossible or unrealistic. If it feels so good, it can’t be right.  Says who?

The pain of not following your dreams makes everyday life very dissatisfying. Not being true to yourself saps your wellbeing.

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself”

Shannon L. Alder

What are you waiting for? You know people who waited and lost their opportunities through illness, disability, or death. You also know people who throw off caution and go for it. When you don’t pursue your passions, you may say “I’m waiting for the just right time”.

“If you wait, all that happens is you get older”

Larry McMurtry

The hard truth is there is no “Just Right” time. But acting now gives you the opportunity to discover what’s possible.

Taking initiative to pursue your interests comes in many forms. You can take a course, join a club, change jobs, volunteer, or establish a self study. Education at midlife looks different than that in early adulthood. Instead of a four year track that is pre-determined by higher education, you become responsible for putting together your specialized, independent study.

Lynn has worked in the financial services field for 15 years. She enjoys the client contact, but is weary of the pressure and sales aspect of her job. She dreams of something different and takes the leap to start adding new interests to her current life. “At least I can enjoy something in my off hours”, she thinks.

Growing up Lynn enjoyed childcare. Her children are grown, but Lynn decides to become a mentor to families at a local shelter. She finds meaning that is missing in her livelihood. Even after a particularly difficult day at work, Lynn grows energy through her interactions at the shelter.

So a door is opening for Lynn. Where it takes her depends on her curiosity in, desire for, and investigation of new fields. Whether this stays a hobby or becomes a career, depends on Lynn’s development of her learning track.

The experience of new skill building promotes confidence and vitality within you that can lead to changes. An investment in your future expands emotional connection. This connection to something unique gives you a sense of possibility and expansion.

With confidence and optimism you take action. Say you want to change jobs. By setting a deadline to leave, you help to make it happen. Telling others your plans also holds you accountable and increases completion. Self imposed deadlines help put your priorities in line with those from the outside. Once you create your desired outcome and deadline, you can work backward to identify small steps needed to accomplish your goals.

You can use the time before your deadline to:

Learn new skills
Investigate different fields
Volunteer
Informational interview
Apply for new jobs
Create opportunities where none exist
Save money
Plan a sabbatical

The concept of purposeful sabbaticals, where you prepare for new work as well as refresh and renew, is growing in popularity. Higher education historically has used sabbaticals for advanced study and research. But most workers are not provided this opportunity. Creating one yourself is extremely valuable when in career transition.

What you can do for yourself:

Choose a topic for independent study
Create a series of activities
Listen carefully to your reactions
Set a deadline for change in your livelihood
Establish the steps needed to reach your goals
Get in action

Happy travels and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design Tagged With: , , ,

career exit strategies: letting go to move ahead, part 1

October 31, 2014 by

Doors

When negatives outweigh the positives in your career, you think about moving on. But what is involved? When you were younger you changed jobs, relationships, and housing frequently. But as you age, transitions become more complicated. Perhaps your decisions impact your family’s work or schooling, or you have greater financial responsibilities that depend on your earnings, or your identity is tied to this job.

Often you feel trapped, but don’t take action either to fix where you are or to move on. So you stay in pain and complain. This pain influences your mental and physical health, your relationships, and your hope. You have choices. They may not be your ideal dream, but there are always choices.

In order to creatively construct solutions for your career distress it’s necessary to be in top shape. Exercise, adequate sleep, socialization, and stress reduction are important. When you aren’t at your best, you become vulnerable to making poor choices and being adversely impacted by tensions around you.

If you work in a demanding environment, it’s almost as if you need to wear protective armor. This armor can consist of your confidence and focus. Holding a clear idea of your values and goals allows you to sort through interferences. Giving yourself the space and cushion to be mindful of your needs and mission allows you to be proactive in meeting them. Every workplace has some stress, dysfunction, and parts we dislike, but you have the power to minimize the hassles you absorb.

Allison Rimm, author of “The Joy of Strategy-A Business Plan for Life” uses the concept of the Joy to Hassle Ratio.  She has her clients measure where they stand on any day. If the hassles are overpowering your joy, it’s time to take action.

“If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today? And whenever the answer has been ‘no’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something”

Steve Jobs

That “something” represents a continuum of change ranging from keeping the status quo to finding another job. The vision of walking out the door comes to us when we are fed up. It happens in relationships and work, but impulsively walking out is not recommended. You may ultimately decide to leave, but there are intermediate steps to take before you act.

Amy is in her late 40’s and has practiced the same profession for 20 years. She has worked in different settings and is on an upward career path toward success. But while Amy is excellent at her job and is achieving success by society’s standards, Amy is no longer satisfied with her vocation.

But what can Amy do? Perhaps she can take efforts to create more of what she wants at work. Or if Amy knows she wants something different, she can begin a search and establish networks in that field. She can also prepare herself for a new field through training and volunteering. All of that can be done while still working, but it takes stamina. That’s where personal wellness promotion is vital.

In order to take on new learning and community building, you have to make room in your life. Too many people pile on goals and fail. Unless you let go of some things on your plate, you won’t have the space and energy for anything new. Determining what you can let go of and taking action are essential to success in any new endeavor.

“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage, pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically, to say no to the other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside”

Stephen Covey

If Amy doesn’t know what she wants to do, there are more answers to discover. She can begin an inner journey alone, or with a professional guide, or with trusted friends and colleagues. By getting curious about who she is now…20 years into a career…Amy can analyze the lessons learned about herself.

These are the questions to ask: When are you at your best on the job? What lights you up? What gets you in flow? What do you care about? If you could change something in the world, what issue would you seek out?

Next month we’ll look at what to do with the information you are amassing and what next steps are possible.

When you have one foot out the door:

Test your joy to hassle ratio
Ask yourself some hard questions
Dream about what is missing
Learn from your experiences to date
Determine what information you need

Happy journey and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions Tagged With: , , ,

channeling your inner sherpa: practices to guide you on your career path

September 30, 2014 by

Sunny summer morning in the Italian Alps. Dolomites mountains, I

Ways to refresh and recharge vary according to our interests and needs. One of mine is moving in nature. It allows a shift from too much brain focus to a body engagement, where all senses are ignited.

This month I relished two weeks of hiking in Italy. One with a guide who shared wisdom that is valuable every day. Our small group in the Dolomites differed in abilities, but shared a desire to push ourselves beyond our status quo. The question of “Can I do it?” reverberated in the mountains. It reminded me of the adage to make your goals just beyond your fingertips…not too overwhelming, but not too easy.

As we started out, our guide Gary shared about the Sherpas in Nepal and what he’s learned from them. The Sherpas are the ethnic group known for their mountaineering skills. Besides guiding visitors, they carry the gear and food to nourish the group.

As we began our ascents, I became out of breath with rapid heart rate. Gary offered that the Sherpas take very small steps and strive to keep their breathing and heart rate level. So that became one of my practices on the trail, a type of walking meditation with focus on the breath. Gary has used this to climb the first 27,000 feet of Mt. Everest without oxygen. My goals were much more modest, but keeping a steady fuel of oxygen was one.

I found during that week an energy and excitement not present on most days. The beauty and fresh air inspired us, as did the camaraderie. We were all leaving the pressures of work and life responsibilities to heal our souls. It worked. The glow remains one week later after re-entry. But how to keep it alive or to create it without an exotic trip? What can we plug into our normal lives that keeps us engaged and energized?

The people I coach are ready for a change, usually starting with increased satisfaction in their work lives. They ask me how long does change usually take. How long do I work with people? They preface by saying they know it varies, but they still want to know when relief will appear for them. I understand the desire for a more gratifying work day..one where you are using your skills, living your values, and involved in something of interest that makes a difference.

How often we lose a sense at work that what we do matters? It may appear worthwhile at the outset, but after several years we grow stale. We need a shake up, a new path, a new reason to perform. As we grow and change as people, we need new challenges. But we fear our readiness for that challenge. We doubt our ability, but will never know our potential unless we try.

Like the Sherpas we can learn to take small steps and monitor our heart rate and breathing. If our body tells us to slow down, we can listen. Just as we can listen when it tells us to make a change because we are bored or stressed. Have you ever noticed when you take on something you love, time flies and you’re filled with energy? You are in flow according to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of “Flow, the Psychology of Optimal Experience”. Here’s his TED talk:

http://www.ted.com/talks/mihaly_csikszentmihalyi_on_flow

We don’t have to doubt our ability and stamina when we find the right interests. And we can find them by trying out many different things. There’s no recipe book for you. No index to check about what to do next. It’s just the willingness to put one foot in front of the other in a new direction. If you find that’s not bringing you joy, turn to the left or to the right.

During one of our amazing hikes, we were alone without our guide. We reached an unmarked crossroad and had to make a decision. In the direction we turned the trail became narrow and dark and muddy…difficult even. Surely this can’t be the right one, we thought. But we kept on, encouraging each other, finding unique ways to make it. And we came out onto a huge clearing, a bright meadow with flowers. In the distance we could see our guide waiting for us. He knew we would make it and ultimately, we did too.

So pick up your walking stick and:

Decide if this is your time for a change
Identify what area of your life needs a boost
Create your initial vision
Make a strategy map
Step on the path with a smile and hope

Good hiking and see you on the trail!

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design Tagged With: , , , ,

being in the moment: ways to calm your mind

August 29, 2014 by

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How often do you think about several things at once? Do you count yourself among those who spend time worrying? Is it worse at work or at home? Perhaps you hear bad news about someone you care about; your to-do list is calling; or you feel life is out of control. How many hours, days, weeks have you spent worrying? It is possible to change this habit in order to experience more joy and calm.

Last week I heard author/educator Genie Z. Laborde, Ph.D, speak about presence. We are aware of the value of meditation and the practice of being in the present moment, but often we’re too busy to stop and practice it.

We end up substituting the habit of juggling a hundred thoughts, tasks, and responsibilities for something soothing and healing. Why wouldn’t we choose to experience a state that comforts us? Why live in discomfort?

We fool ourselves into thinking that we don’t have a choice. We say, no one understands the pressures we’re under. No one is inside our heads, nor would they want to be there…we don’t even want to be there.

Last week I made an effort to breathe deeply and clear my mind for the purpose of the workshop exercise. This is what I encourage my clients to do. I believe in it and I’ve seen it work.

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”

Amit Ray

Dr. Laborde said being in the now, which she equates with being in the right brain, erases fear. Employing all of our senses to be solidly in the present also increases our creative capacity. We are able to discover more innovative solutions when we are focused.

People find that activities like producing art, gardening, or building something enable you to be in a meditative-like state. You are engaged in one activity. Nothing else interferes. I use knitting and beading as a way to get out of my head, which serves as a stress reducing tool. What is your tool?

Another way to practice presence is while walking. You’ve heard of walking meditations, possibly for those who can’t sit still or as another option for “sitting”. I formerly used walking as a way to work out problems. Thinking hard about everything. But these days my mind is blank as I walk. Am I wasting time? No, I feel refreshed, body and mind.

The tool of being present can be used at work and home. Working parents are often dealing with competing priorities and worries. Kate is a mother of two school aged children. While raising them is a full time job, Kate also works part time outside the home. Her volume of responsibilities is a challenge, but Kate is committed to pursuing her career. She makes an effort to be truly present at work and pushes aside her thoughts about home. Likewise when she is home, Kate strives to leave her work thoughts at work.

The concept that multi-tasking is an advantageous skill has been refuted. We tend to admire supermen and women who do so much, often simultaneously. However, numerous studies find that multi-tasking leads to ineffectiveness. The brain does better holding one thought at a time.

The practice of mindfulness or noticing the present moment without judgment can lessen worrying and promote physical and mental health. It can become a tool to deal with the stresses of life. The more you “practice” it, the easier it becomes. It’s a habit that costs nothing and can be done anywhere for any length of time. In meetings, at your desk, during lunch. No one has to know what you are doing.

Mindfulness primes you for being present in your daily life. Associating your breath with coming back to the now reminds you to give full attention. For example, giving your undivided attention in conversations reaps huge benefits with co-workers, clients, bosses, and family. People crave being heard and can sense when you aren’t fully there.

Resources to practice mindfulness are abundant. Here is one place to begin:

http://www.helpguide.org/harvard/mindfulness.htm 

“Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).”

James Baraz

Ways to begin right now:

Commit to pause and ask “Am I Here?”
Start a meditation practice
Practice giving your full attention at work and home
Rest in the calm of now
Pause, take a breath, then again

Smooth sailing and see you on the path!

 

 

 

Filed Under: Life Design, Wellbeing Tagged With: , ,

patience leads to uncovering: finding work that fits

July 29, 2014 by

hourglass in sand

Ever want something to happen yesterday? Can’t wait until you leave a painful, current state to something better? This often occurs regarding health challenges and work issues.  But just like we cannot push our bodies into health, we cannot drop into the perfect work.

Some people I meet want to change jobs, but there is not much urgency, just a dull ache. Others need it to happen now. Maybe they were laid off or their financial welfare is in jeopardy. They want a solution fast and yet how can that occur?

It’s an uncomfortable place to be in when your life feels out of control. There’s a quickening of your heartbeat, a shortness of breath, a looming dread. You aren’t at your best, but it’s often a time when you have to make important decisions.

Yvonne was in a job she disliked and wanted to change. But it was easier to go along with the familiar than stop and look for something better. As often happens, life took action without Yvonne. Her company was sold and half the employees were laid off, including Yvonne. While she received some severance, Yvonne was in a panic. She hadn’t looked for a job in 15 years and didn’t know where to start. She knew what she didn’t want, but wasn’t sure what was possible for her. The work world seemed unfamiliar and the application process she remembered had disappeared.

People may say, enjoy your “time off”, take a trip, don’t jump back into the 9-5 just yet. But most of us want the assurance that everything will be ok. That we will land with a better situation or at least an equivalent one financially. We still need to put kids through college, or contribute to our retirement funds, or pay off the mortgage. How can we rest now?

Yvonne was lost at first. She looked in the newspaper want ads; she looked online; she talked to some people. She really didn’t have a clear vision of what she was seeking. Just a good job that paid a satisfactory salary.

But, what if this was an opportunity? What if this was a gift of space for Yvonne to consider who she wanted to become next? Often we are so busy taking care of business, we lack time to dream. When I retired from my first career, my co-workers remarked I was so lucky. I asked why they didn’t leave and they said they didn’t know what to do next. Well, the hard truth is you have to figure it out. 

Few people know exactly who they want to become when they begin college. They reach a solution through exploration, investigation, trial and error. Same thing happens when we are older and face a transition. It’s up to us to design our next step. No one can do it for you.

“The best teachers have showed me that things have to be done bit by bit. Nothing that means anything happens quickly–we only think it does. The motion of drawing back a bow and sending an arrow straight into a target takes only a split second, but it is a skill many years in the making. So it is with a life, anyone’s life…”

Joseph Bruchac

So Yvonne is at a crossroad. She can’t go back and to go forward requires some introspection. People change over time. The person Yvonne was 15 years ago is different than who she is today. Her interests, values, priorities, even strengths are slightly or greatly changed. Life has influenced Yvonne with her realization or not. She may have to take some time to get in touch with the current woman she is and then visualize the woman she hopes to become.

Many people I meet say they want to make a contribution by working at something they believe in. Money is necessary to support our lifestyles, but it may not be the driver it was when you were younger. Your priorities change with maturity, differing responsibilities, and with experience. You may not be sure what will bring satisfaction, but you can know what you want to leave behind. Life experiences bring life lessons to use in a new design.

So what can you do when you are at a crossroad?

Take a breath, look at what’s important to you
Explore alternative ways to work
Find role models and shadow them
Dip your toe in, see how it feels
Look ahead, not back

Happy traveling and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design, Self Knowledge Tagged With: , ,

the mysterious destination: enjoying the journey

June 30, 2014 by

Red Rock Canyon Landscape at Sunset

Last month an intriguing path called to me in the red rocks of Sedona. I noticed it from above and saw that it wound around a hill and went off into the distance. I knew nothing about it, where it went, how long it was, how difficult. Up until then I had researched all of my trails and was fully prepared. Why was this one different and why was it calling me?

So without consulting the information board, a trail map, or anyone around, three of us set off. It soon became uncomfortable for one of our party and she took a familiar path to the car to wait.

Two of us continued on the “Airport Loop Trail”. I knew the airport wasn’t far and that our transportation was parked nearby. Certainly this would be a fun, surprising adventure.

But the path took us away from our destination. We heard planes, even saw them, but couldn’t reach the airport. Along the way was a 360 degree view of Sedona. Very interesting and beautiful, but there was a nagging worry in our minds.

How long was this going to take? Did we have enough water? What about our friend who was waiting? Where did it end?

Without our sense of urgency, we could have eased into the process.. enjoyed the walk.. the newness.. the journey. But we kept wondering how much longer, where are we going, what will we find?

Our experience reminds me of negotiating life change. We may be attracted to something, but not have much information. It looks intriguing from a distance, but there are no guarantees of what you’ll find. You may not know how to get started and where to turn. There is no map.

Some of us dream from afar and never take the first step. Others jump right in and find they are missing a parachute. Patty was like that. She felt stuck in a job that brought more stress than joy. To take a break she traveled to Portland, Oregon where she refreshed in the laid back, natural atmosphere. Upon return home, Patty gave notice and started looking for a job and housing in Portland. 

As she delved more deeply into the process, Patty learned that Portland job opportunities were limited in her field. People were more highly educated and experienced. The pay was less, yet the rents were comparable to home. Now Patty had created additional stress instead of escaping it.

What Patty lacked was a clear vision, information, and a strategic life plan. Often when we reach the tipping point for change, we want it to happen fast. We fail to look at all sides. We know we don’t like where we are and think anywhere else will be better. And yet that new situation may not fulfill us either. How can we know for sure? We want that guarantee that we’ve found the correct fit.

“Being at ease with not knowing is crucial for answers to come to you”

Eckhart Tolle

How much can we really predict and be sure of? How much unknown can we tolerate? I didn’t know until I was well on that trail that I would like it, that I could do it. And I had no guarantee that the path at the beginning would stay the same. What if the terrain changed and it became too difficult. What if it ended abruptly, what if the steepness became overwhelming?

Even with our research, surprises happen. How will you prepare for those surprises? When do we turn around, when do we call for help, when do we change direction?

Some tools to help when you’re in unknown territory:

A belief in yourself
A trust in the process
Flexibility when the unexpected occurs
Willingness to ask for help
Gratitude for the opportunity

As far as the hike, we did reach the end of four miles and our friend was waiting for us. We’d do it again, but this time we’d be better prepared.

Happy adventures and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design, Uncategorized Tagged With: ,
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