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patience leads to uncovering: finding work that fits

July 29, 2014 by

hourglass in sand

Ever want something to happen yesterday? Can’t wait until you leave a painful, current state to something better? This often occurs regarding health challenges and work issues.  But just like we cannot push our bodies into health, we cannot drop into the perfect work.

Some people I meet want to change jobs, but there is not much urgency, just a dull ache. Others need it to happen now. Maybe they were laid off or their financial welfare is in jeopardy. They want a solution fast and yet how can that occur?

It’s an uncomfortable place to be in when your life feels out of control. There’s a quickening of your heartbeat, a shortness of breath, a looming dread. You aren’t at your best, but it’s often a time when you have to make important decisions.

Yvonne was in a job she disliked and wanted to change. But it was easier to go along with the familiar than stop and look for something better. As often happens, life took action without Yvonne. Her company was sold and half the employees were laid off, including Yvonne. While she received some severance, Yvonne was in a panic. She hadn’t looked for a job in 15 years and didn’t know where to start. She knew what she didn’t want, but wasn’t sure what was possible for her. The work world seemed unfamiliar and the application process she remembered had disappeared.

People may say, enjoy your “time off”, take a trip, don’t jump back into the 9-5 just yet. But most of us want the assurance that everything will be ok. That we will land with a better situation or at least an equivalent one financially. We still need to put kids through college, or contribute to our retirement funds, or pay off the mortgage. How can we rest now?

Yvonne was lost at first. She looked in the newspaper want ads; she looked online; she talked to some people. She really didn’t have a clear vision of what she was seeking. Just a good job that paid a satisfactory salary.

But, what if this was an opportunity? What if this was a gift of space for Yvonne to consider who she wanted to become next? Often we are so busy taking care of business, we lack time to dream. When I retired from my first career, my co-workers remarked I was so lucky. I asked why they didn’t leave and they said they didn’t know what to do next. Well, the hard truth is you have to figure it out. 

Few people know exactly who they want to become when they begin college. They reach a solution through exploration, investigation, trial and error. Same thing happens when we are older and face a transition. It’s up to us to design our next step. No one can do it for you.

“The best teachers have showed me that things have to be done bit by bit. Nothing that means anything happens quickly–we only think it does. The motion of drawing back a bow and sending an arrow straight into a target takes only a split second, but it is a skill many years in the making. So it is with a life, anyone’s life…”

Joseph Bruchac

So Yvonne is at a crossroad. She can’t go back and to go forward requires some introspection. People change over time. The person Yvonne was 15 years ago is different than who she is today. Her interests, values, priorities, even strengths are slightly or greatly changed. Life has influenced Yvonne with her realization or not. She may have to take some time to get in touch with the current woman she is and then visualize the woman she hopes to become.

Many people I meet say they want to make a contribution by working at something they believe in. Money is necessary to support our lifestyles, but it may not be the driver it was when you were younger. Your priorities change with maturity, differing responsibilities, and with experience. You may not be sure what will bring satisfaction, but you can know what you want to leave behind. Life experiences bring life lessons to use in a new design.

So what can you do when you are at a crossroad?

Take a breath, look at what’s important to you
Explore alternative ways to work
Find role models and shadow them
Dip your toe in, see how it feels
Look ahead, not back

Happy traveling and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design, Self Knowledge Tagged With: , ,

the mysterious destination: enjoying the journey

June 30, 2014 by

Red Rock Canyon Landscape at Sunset

Last month an intriguing path called to me in the red rocks of Sedona. I noticed it from above and saw that it wound around a hill and went off into the distance. I knew nothing about it, where it went, how long it was, how difficult. Up until then I had researched all of my trails and was fully prepared. Why was this one different and why was it calling me?

So without consulting the information board, a trail map, or anyone around, three of us set off. It soon became uncomfortable for one of our party and she took a familiar path to the car to wait.

Two of us continued on the “Airport Loop Trail”. I knew the airport wasn’t far and that our transportation was parked nearby. Certainly this would be a fun, surprising adventure.

But the path took us away from our destination. We heard planes, even saw them, but couldn’t reach the airport. Along the way was a 360 degree view of Sedona. Very interesting and beautiful, but there was a nagging worry in our minds.

How long was this going to take? Did we have enough water? What about our friend who was waiting? Where did it end?

Without our sense of urgency, we could have eased into the process.. enjoyed the walk.. the newness.. the journey. But we kept wondering how much longer, where are we going, what will we find?

Our experience reminds me of negotiating life change. We may be attracted to something, but not have much information. It looks intriguing from a distance, but there are no guarantees of what you’ll find. You may not know how to get started and where to turn. There is no map.

Some of us dream from afar and never take the first step. Others jump right in and find they are missing a parachute. Patty was like that. She felt stuck in a job that brought more stress than joy. To take a break she traveled to Portland, Oregon where she refreshed in the laid back, natural atmosphere. Upon return home, Patty gave notice and started looking for a job and housing in Portland. 

As she delved more deeply into the process, Patty learned that Portland job opportunities were limited in her field. People were more highly educated and experienced. The pay was less, yet the rents were comparable to home. Now Patty had created additional stress instead of escaping it.

What Patty lacked was a clear vision, information, and a strategic life plan. Often when we reach the tipping point for change, we want it to happen fast. We fail to look at all sides. We know we don’t like where we are and think anywhere else will be better. And yet that new situation may not fulfill us either. How can we know for sure? We want that guarantee that we’ve found the correct fit.

“Being at ease with not knowing is crucial for answers to come to you”

Eckhart Tolle

How much can we really predict and be sure of? How much unknown can we tolerate? I didn’t know until I was well on that trail that I would like it, that I could do it. And I had no guarantee that the path at the beginning would stay the same. What if the terrain changed and it became too difficult. What if it ended abruptly, what if the steepness became overwhelming?

Even with our research, surprises happen. How will you prepare for those surprises? When do we turn around, when do we call for help, when do we change direction?

Some tools to help when you’re in unknown territory:

A belief in yourself
A trust in the process
Flexibility when the unexpected occurs
Willingness to ask for help
Gratitude for the opportunity

As far as the hike, we did reach the end of four miles and our friend was waiting for us. We’d do it again, but this time we’d be better prepared.

Happy adventures and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design, Uncategorized Tagged With: ,

turning points: events that change your life

May 15, 2014 by

Sign post

Ever wonder what influences you to change direction after being on a steady path? Sometimes it’s your deliberate act and other times it’s more unanticipated. You go along in life taking care of business, often operating on auto pilot and wham, something hits you over the head. Maybe it’s a break up, a new boss, you get sick, or your last child leaves home. But something happens to get your attention.

Then the questions start flowing: Why am I here? What am I doing? Am I happy? What do I want? You begin to question everything that is familiar. You wonder what would happen if you changed direction. An opening beckons. 

Molly worked hard for 15 years climbing the ladder in her company. She was successful and engaged at work. The only things missing were a partner and children, or so she thought. Then Molly met Howard. He was someone who shared many interests. They began to spend time together and Molly’s life outside of work became rich and full.

Both Molly and Howard are committed professionals in their fields and yet something else began calling them. They talked of living overseas and helping those in need. Their meeting changed the plans they had previously designed. Together they created a new vision, which they are carrying out together.

Have you ever met someone who changed your life? Maybe it was a teacher, or a classmate/colleague, or a new friend. But you know that person touched your life in a way that changed it forever. Maybe they introduced you to something new or their presence stimulated you to think in creative ways and take risks. One benefit of interacting with new people is an infusion of innovative ideas and possibilities.

Ingie was frustrated in her job. During two years, her efforts to gain greater responsibility were stymied. She watched others get promoted who were less skilled than she. She questioned what she was missing and how long she should wait. Then Ingie met Sharon at a networking event. They shared some professional interests and held a captivating conversation. When Ingie took Sharon’s card, she noticed she was a manager. She decided to contact Sharon and set up an informational interview which eventually led to a job offer for Ingie. She made the move and is now working at a level more aligned with her skills and passions. Ingie is thrilled.

Sometimes it takes a significant loss to get our attention and lead us to a turning point. It can be a lost relationship, a health scare, a death of someone close, or a layoff. In these extreme times of stress we may be awakened to what we value. Instead of proceeding on automatic, we stop and take notice of what’s most important. This is an opportunity to reflect and adjust our lives and often a time of energy renewal.

“Sometimes the course of our lives depends on what we do or don’t do in a few seconds, a heartbeat, when we either seize the opportunity, or just miss it. Miss the moment and you may never get a chance again.” 
Aidan Chambers 

Have you ever been fired from a job only to have that be the BEST thing to happen to you? You sink or swim to the next possibility. The same happens with divorce or break ups. At the time you wonder how you’ll survive. But when you eventually do, you are grateful for the new opportunity. Once you lift your head above the pain, your eyes notice a fresh vista.

Ways to make use of Turning Points:

Look back on your life and learn from those events
Take careful stock when something shakes up your life
Keep an open mind to the possibilities
Map out a few alternatives
Try two or three
Celebrate your new direction

Embrace change and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design, Self Knowledge Tagged With: , , ,

from the horse’s mouth: informational interviewing

April 24, 2014 by

Group of three young horses on the pasture

Have you ever thought, Oh dear, I’m in the wrong career! Sometimes that truth comes as a whisper and others it knocks you off your feet. What started as a good job and long term plan has become a straight jacket. All that training, all that money and effort, and one day you find you aren’t where you want to be.

How do you find a new career path once you’ve been working for several years? First, congratulations for listening to your heart and head and considering a change. Second, there is hope. People transition into new career fields all the time. In fact it’s a common part of human development. What interests us early in our lives may change.

“I keep telling you the future isn’t set in stone. It’s not all decided yet. The future is just what’s down the road we decided to walk on today. You can change roads anytime. And that changes where you end up.”
Catherine Ryan Hyde

Many people tell me they are too old to go back to school. Even though I believe education is valuable and necessary throughout one’s life span, let’s look at alternatives to formal “schooling”. Multiple resources exist around you in the form of experienced professionals, people who are doing what you think you’d be good at and enjoy.

I first heard about Informational Interviewing in the 70’s from Richard Bolles’ “What Color is your Parachute?”. Perhaps it has existed throughout time in the form of apprentice programs. The value of talking with people who are working in fields you are curious about is obvious. They have answers about opportunities, necessary training, pros and cons, and trends.

The way to get current career information is to set up an interview. Today with the internet and social media, finding people to call is very easy. Pick people who are seasoned and successful in your chosen field. Find out how they got there and how it has turned out. What were their steps? What advice do they have for you?

Howard is a teacher of 20 years who now wants to become an innkeeper. He loves to cook and meet new people and he’s always wanted to live near the mountains. When Howard and his wife travel, they tend to choose bed and breakfast establishments for lodging. They enjoy the cozy, home-like atmosphere and the special attention provided by the owners.

Rather than just dream about this career, Howard can create a plan to learn more about inn keeping. Instead of seeking out formal education as he did when he became a teacher, Howard can explore informal resources by talking with innkeepers.

Informational interviewing requires a list of questions you want answered and a list of people currently doing the work. Help with both can be found on the internet. The hardest part for many is getting started, making the first request. Once people realize that folks who enjoy their work love to talk about it and give advice, the process feels effortless.

A second piece of career investigation is setting up an internship. Many of us had internships during our college years.  We had a chance to try on a job with no long term commitments. It provided valuable information for deciding whether to follow that field. Today mature workers can “try on” something new through brief shadowing of a professional or through volunteer work.

Howard decided to spend part of his summer vacation working for free with an innkeeper. He got an up close look at the duties involved as well as more time to be mentored by the owner. Howard couldn’t have paid for that experience and knowledge. He decided this was a good fit and he’s established a 3 year plan toward his career transition.

Whether the information you obtain leads you forward or you decide to keep looking, your investigation will maximize the likelihood of a great fit. The day may come when you’ll be asked to share your career experience. Enjoy the curiosity and passion from a potential colleague as you guide them on their path.

Steps to take:

Choose a potential career
Identify your questions about it
Locate successful professionals in that field
Schedule a brief interview
Express appreciation and ask for more names
Synthesize the information gathered
Take your next step

Stay inquisitive and savor the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions Tagged With: , ,

l hate my job: options when you feel trapped

November 21, 2013 by

Young women flying a rainbow kite

It’s one of the most difficult things to say and for another to hear: “I hate my job”. Perhaps hate is too strong a word, but you may feel close to it. We spend so much time at work we expect that we will like our job, at least some or most of it. We don’t take a job thinking we’ll hate it. We weigh the pros and cons and go in with the belief that this is what we’re looking for or need at the present time.

So what changes? Our work is so important, that we often take our self esteem and identity from our successes or failures. We exit a job changed, usually for the better but sometimes for the worse. The job we begin is rarely the job we leave. Much happens along the way.

What leads to lack of fit or even to hate in a job? A frequent reason for hating a job is feeling underappreciated. These days organizations are operating with less, resulting in existing staff having to take on larger workloads. The stress that comes from extreme workloads wears down employees. Workers desire appreciation from their bosses, a recognition of all they do under difficult circumstances. When that is missing or even replaced with criticism, harshness, and pressure, people turn inward and become hopeless.

If we are unhappy, why don’t we just find a new job? Some people feel trapped. The golden handcuffs of salary, health insurance or retirement benefits keep people tied to current jobs. They think they have to stay 5, 10, 15 more years or lose everything. Additionally, they don’t know where else to go or fear they won’t be hired again. Their confidence has been pounded down. Their job seeking skills are rusty and out of date.

David is someone wanting to change jobs, but lacking confidence. As a manager, he creates innovative programs, helps clients, and is loved by his staff. However, a new management sees David differently. Their measuring sticks emphasize widely distinct results. And David is being asked to change his formerly successful approach. He views this as a renunciation of his value.

Other reasons people become disillusioned with their jobs is they are bored. Their interests have changed. We aren’t necessarily meant to stay in the same role 10-30 years. Hopefully our work gives us opportunities to develop and take on different responsibilities during its life cycle.  But sometimes that isn’t possible or people fail to stretch themselves.

The trapped feeling results in resentment and anger. Even though change is possible and there is an exit, we fail to recognize it. How do we survive and thrive in uncomfortable situations? Recognizing your own worth and seeking feedback from a broad cross section of people are essential. We need to become our own cheerleaders and not depend upon our superiors to provide that. It’s nice when they do, but we can’t count on it.

Believing we have choices gives us freedom. There is always a choice. We choose to stay for various priorities, such as security. We can choose to leave for others, like autonomy. Repeating the mantra “I made this happen; I can create something better” is a tool for believing you can take action.

“Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out”  Michael Burke

Even making a small shift can benefit you.  It may be meeting more of your needs and interests outside of work. Boosting that part of your life allows joy and abundance to flow into your personal life. It may be taking a class, immersing yourself in a hobby, joining a club. We rarely fulfill all of our passions on the job.

Finally, focusing on what is working on the job promotes a positive outlook.  Perhaps there are co-workers you enjoy. Spend more time with them, find ways to work together on projects, and use each other for support. Invent ways to learn new skills. Make your workspace nurture you with objects that mean something special, like photos, pieces of nature, special colors. Don’t forget to get some movement and fresh air into your daily life. Take breaks. Dr. Andrew Weil says we are suffering from Nature Deficit Disorder. Take action during the daylight. Learn what healthy behaviors boost your mood and make a practice of them.

Believe you can do it. See you on a new path!

 

 

 

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design, Self Knowledge Tagged With: , ,

meeting expectations: living up to your dreams

October 21, 2013 by

En vol au dessus des nuages

Frequently people tell me they regret they haven’t done more in their lives. They reference the career goals they set in their 20’s and beyond and come up missing. They compare themselves to others who have done more, those who are in a whirl of activity and are well known. In a way it feels like junior high school: comparisons with the popular kids, the In crowd.

Where do these expectations come from? How do they pop into our heads? It doesn’t take long to hold our families and teachers responsible for instilling early expectations. Maybe you had helicopter parents or instead ones who encouraged you to follow your own interests. We needed our parents and educators to introduce us to varied sports, skills, activities, ideas and then we grabbed the flag and took off in various directions. How did you imagine your future when you were 10, 15, 20? What were you headed for then? Some of us are in the ball park and others far afield. I never became that veterinarian or U.N. translator.

As we picked and chose among various interests, we learned what we were good at, what came naturally, and what intrigued us. Sometimes we tended to follow what our friends were doing. It felt good to be part of the pack. Sometimes we were the leader who showed others how it was done. Other times we marched alone to our own music.

After a while we settled on a career and built our lives around it. But soon that comparing comes up again, whether we are the employee or the boss. We tend to feel we can always do more and wonder how others seem to do it all. Perhaps we live with a vague disappointment in ourselves, a disappointment which impacts our hope and energy.

 As we age, our dreams change slightly or in a huge way. In addition to our paid work, our priorities grow to include family, friends, interests, and community. Our lives become more complex with competing demands.We wonder where we want to turn next. We may care about money, fame, leadership, creativity, significance, or being a pioneer. Again, are our criteria internally or externally driven? How do you recognize the factors that define your success?

What I have learned is that our priorities are driven by changing responsibilities. Consider your primary responsibility now. What was it 10 years ago? What will it be in another 10? Before and after children are launched, education achieved, and financial stability gained, we may focus primarily on our own satisfaction: what will light us up? If we are spending the majority of our waking hours at work, how do we want that experience to be?

Losing touch with dreams results in a vague confusion. Many people state they don’t know what they want. They have spent so much time doing what they “should”, they don’t know how to check in with themselves. That’s a time when we are vulnerable to comparisons. We look at others who seem on track and think that’s what we want to do or where we want to be. The danger is that we pick a direction or value that doesn’t fit and we end up dissatisfied.

That is where the difference between role models and people we envy is helpful. Role models serve as inspirations for purpose and mastery. Think about who in your community you admire. What is it about them that resonates with you? My grandfather comes to mind. He worked until he was about 85 and also created beauty by gardening in his backyard. And he always made time to do things with me. He had a balanced and well-lived life that kept him active and smiling.

“When you stop comparing what is right here and now with what you wish were, you can begin to enjoy what is”, Cheri Huber

If we are clear about what we value, we are less drawn to compare with others. Instead we ask, “am I living the life I choose?” As I navigate my encore career, I am mindful of hundreds of opportunities floating by my eyes like clouds. They change daily, monthly, yearly and present me with choices of how I want to be involved. I can reach up and grab any of those clouds and try them out, discard what doesn’t work, and keep what does.

Instead of comparing yourself to others:

Contemplate how satisfied you are
Appreciate your growth
Take note of your wins
Embrace your contributions
Remember your lessons learned
Be grateful for today
Make a plan that includes all that makes you come alive

Happy travels and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design, Self Knowledge Tagged With: , ,

staying relevant: broaden your value as you age

August 23, 2013 by

staiway in forest disappearing in strong fog

As we age, we wonder how we will continue to stay relevant. For some it is through career, for others through creation, and some through contribution. How does our age factor into our possibilities? We learn that engagement doesn’t stop at 65. Experts encourage us to continue working for numerous reasons: physical, mental, fiscal, and spiritual health. However, ageism stops some people along their journey. Sometimes the limiting beliefs are in our own heads and sometimes in the heads of the gatekeepers.

Let’s start with our own beliefs. I hear clients say they are too old to go “back to school”. They don’t want to invest in training for a new career or to upgrade existing skills. They doubt they will reap benefits from the expense of education. Or might they worry they are too old to learn?

Sometimes people at midlife wonder if they will be hired by employers often half their age. They may be reluctant to leave a job they have outgrown for fear they will not have a fighting chance at a new one. Or they fear spending precious savings on starting their own business, even though they possess great ideas, talents, and passion. However, the reality is that mature workers are taking up a larger piece of the labor force. By 2019 over 40% of Americans 55+ will be working and comprise 25% of total workers.

What is the truth about age discrimination? Because people are working longer due to longevity, need, or interest, we have more older people transitioning in the job market. The good news is that mature workers are needed due to fewer numbers available to replace them. The realistic news is that ongoing age discrimination exists. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, older workers stay unemployed longer and the unemployment rate for 55+ job seekers has more than doubled since late 2007.

Two experts in the mature employee field, Carleen MacKay and Brad Taft, offer guidance on finding and keeping work after 50. They debunk mature worker myths with statistics and common sense. See www.agelessinamerica.com for in depth information. Those of us involved in job search or wanting to avoid downsizing would do well to review the reported benefits of older, experienced workers and to find opportunities to share these benefits with those in hiring positions.

One way to stay relevant and competitive in your career field is to advance your skills. Additionally, it is vital to stay aware of trends both in your sector and globally. One example of changing trends is the switch from print newspapers and books to online reading. This revolution has impacted several careers and businesses. We find that some workers change with the tide and others flounder.

Changing along with society’s trends is practical for some people. One forward thinker is Alma who retired as a hospital psychologist at 65 due to an unsolicited alteration in her role. Alma still wanted to make a difference, so she studied geriatrics, passed new certifications, and began working in a new way. Alma is an example of being aware of our aging population’s needs and expanding skills to meet those needs. She now possesses numerous options as to where to work, how often, and in what capacity.

Samples of mature workers can be found among our friends and family or with the famous. Maya Angelou is at the top of her game at 85 with little signs of slowing down. Several politicians and their spouses have reinvented themselves once their terms ended: George H.W. Bush (89), Rosalyn Carter (86), Jimmy Carter (88), and Bill Clinton (67). All have followed their interests and created new ways to make contributions.

Who serves as your role model for staying relevant? I know an 85 year old social worker who has traveled many different paths during her valuable career. She continues to work, learn, and mentor others.

People in their 50’s and 60’s face multiple reasons to make career changes. The good news is that I see them getting interviews and offers and being recognized for their years of experience. Some find ways to become a free agent to add variety to their efforts. If you have  skills that are needed and current, you will find opportunities to use them whether as an employee, entrepreneur, or volunteer.

Starting now, you can set the stage for relevance by:

Facing your own limiting beliefs about aging
Combating the myths by educating others
Becoming active with your professional associations
Networking with workers of all ages in your field
Staying abreast of new skills and technology
Being involved professionally in social media
Keeping aware of changing global trends

Go after what you desire and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions Tagged With: ,

what’s holding you back? moving ahead with career change

July 22, 2013 by

lock and keyRemember Bob Dylan’s song “The Times They are A-Changin”? That was the 60’s, but people today appear to be in a swirl of change also. Is it just me or is technology changing so fast, it’s hard to keep current? Oh, I know the kids seem to be on top of it, but what about their parents or their grandparents?

How comfortable are you with the speed of your work life change? Many professionals say they are doing more with less support and their work has changed drastically from when they began. To make it worse, people feel that no one seems to understand their unique situation…how difficult things feel with no apparent way out.

When asked what change are you looking for, people at midlife often say “Freedom”. Freedom to do something different, freedom to direct the work day, and freedom from pressures. People are longing for: more autonomy and control, less stress, more laughter, more variety, less regulation, more appreciation and less responsibility.

By using our freedom in the past, many of us designed our lives around our interests and values. We chose careers we thought we would love or that would give us status, financial security, or meaning. Ten, twenty, thirty years later, are those careers still meeting our needs?

If yes, you are in good shape. If not, what can you do to become more satisfied? I hear many say, “I would really like ______, BUT______”. What follows are reasons, excuses, and barriers that appear so legitimate that no solution is possible. The result is often enduring dissatisfaction and a feeling of being trapped. Do you feel that way and will those barriers keep you from improving your life?

Today’s economy is confronting people with fewer jobs, less money and more needs. Aging parents are living longer, kids can’t find work and everyone seems to need our help. But if we’re looking for freedom, how will we create it?

What if instead of “But” we add “And” to our reasoning? “I really want to enjoy my work, but everything is changing for the worse, AND I’ll have to change with it”. Instead of hoping everything and everyone else will change back to what worked before, we have to step up and change. That action is the shortest line to getting what you want.

Of course, people can band together and push for organizational or societal change. And in your personal lives family and friends may change somewhat, if you make a request. But the distance to those changes is longer and outside much of your control.

You may not relish change, you are tired of changing and accommodating. When is it your turn to get a break? Perhaps, this could be your time. A chance for you to create a new way of living and working that better fits the maturely developed you.

If we don’t give away all of our energy at work and save some for the creative exploration called transformation, we may become intrigued and hopeful.

“Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing it is not fish they are after”

HENRY DAVID THOREAU

It may be time to contemplate what you have been searching for all your life and if you already have it. If you first appreciate what you already have in family, work, community, and self, how might that lead to your freedom? Or is freedom what you are really after?

Try this out:    I would like __________But__________And__________

Here’s an example:

I would like to change my career, BUT I can’t afford to lose my salary and benefits AND so I will begin to examine what other possibilities exist.

Happy fishing and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions Tagged With: ,

value added to your life: turn it upside down

June 20, 2013 by

Woman Hiking toward Cathedral Rock (Sedona, Arizona)

What is your philosophy of life? Have you developed one? Have you paused long enough to recognize your life lessons so far?

Recently while hiking in the red rocks of Sedona, I met a philosopher from China. He would call himself a cook, but he shared his life lessons along the trail. Joe worked extremely hard for over 20 years and now is touring the U.S. at his own pace. If you ask Joe “what are you doing tomorrow?”, he’d say “I don’t know yet”.

Instead he does what he feels like when he wakes every morning. If it means spending 3 hours patiently waiting for a butterfly to land near his camera or driving across the desert without stopping, Joe uses his intuition and interests to point the way.

Now if you think Joe must be retired, you’re wrong. Joe is 48. Earlier in his life he had different priorities: raising a family, making money to buy a house, helping his parents, becoming an entrepreneur. While family is still important to Joe, working long and hard is not.

When you scan back over your life, what emerges as your priorities? Do you notice you were more involved in certain roles, responsibilities, or activities at particular stages? Can you see that your life has ebbed and flowed according to the choices and circumstances present? Perhaps your calling wasn’t always expressed through your career. And that was ok.

I have another friend Caroline who is also in her 40’s. She works when she needs to and goes for long stretches of time when she lives off that money and does volunteer work. To Caroline her volunteer work is her passion and her work is to pay the bills.

What strikes you about Caroline and Joe? What role does work play in your life currently? How does your work meet your needs? The old model of working 40+ hours per week for 5 or more days during 45+ years of life is changing. People are moving in and out of work.

Instead of taking a break at the end of a long career, people are taking sabbaticals after 10 years or less. They are learning to live more simply, saving wisely, and not becoming captive to possessions. Even the old adage of home ownership as the American dream is changing. Many of us don’t want the responsibility or expense of home ownership.

What are you a servant to? What would you like to throw off or away? Joe and Caroline value their opportunities to chart an independent course toward their happiness. Neither are tied to a clock or a timeline. They certainly are in flow much more than most of us.

What if you took a leap like Caroline or Joe and tried something new? What do you have to lose? What could happen with this new sense of direction? How did Joe and Caroline break out of their traditional work schedules?

Something greater called them. At first it wasn’t clear what part of their lives needed changing, but they knew something needed to be different. They worked at figuring out the missing pieces by trying on interests gradually. Maybe that calling was percolating from long ago…an interest in adventure, a passion to help others. They fueled those interests and their creativity grew.

Caroline and Joe were rewarded for their efforts. They heard a “yes, this is what I want”. Some people find a way to follow their bliss part time on the side. Some do it for huge chunks at a time. There is no formula for everyone. Only trial and error and a willingness to take a risk.

Ready to dip a toe in?

Make a list of your interests and values
Draw lines out from each, developing the possibilities
Pick one and go investigate
Ask yourself if you want to know more
Follow your answer
Get in action

Enjoy the ride and see you on the path!

 

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design, Self Knowledge Tagged With: ,

staying true to who you are: your personality at work

May 19, 2013 by

 

Business group

Think of times when your work fit like a glove. Those times may have come in minutes, hours, or months. It was a time when you were in flow, feeling confident and competent. Now think about specific jobs where you awoke excited to arrive at work. Those times when you were intrigued by the possibilities waiting for you. Those times when you contributed to creating something special, be it a product or a service. And your colleagues became like family as you supported and cheered each other’s efforts.

On the other hand, there were those other jobs when the fit was not so comfortable. We’ve all had them. Something is off.  You are not doing your best. Your spirit is absent. You don’t feel like you are making a contribution. What led to these contrasting experiences?

Personality or temperament is often something we pay little attention to as we age. Our personalities seem fixed with little wiggle room. We may believe that we grow out of those various patterns we displayed as youngsters. Maybe we were called shy or a class clown or we loved to be in charge or we stayed in the background.

Back then people might have recommended we become different: be more of this or less of that. “Vivian is a smart girl, but she doesn’t speak up in class”. “Jack is too talkative and can’t sit still. He needs to calm down”. We weren’t accepted unconditionally for our personalities. We were instructed to change in order to become successful in life and work. What happened to those traits that we displayed early on? Do you still have them or are they covered over by a new facade?

Quiet, The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain is currently receiving a great deal of buzz. According to Cain, one third to one half of people are introverts. But the American work world is especially constructed for extroverts and reveres them. So if you are an introvert, you may feel a lack of fit or success with your career.

Even obtaining a job can be difficult for an introvert. For example, often employment interviews are held with a group of applicants being questioned together. Or there may be a panel of interviewers with one applicant.

Introverts prefer one on one or small groups of people they know. They tend not to speak up forcefully or promote themselves. The danger in a group interview is that an introvert will hang back and become lost in the process. In panel interviews they might become overstimulated and distracted  by several interviewers and lack space to contemplate their responses.

Another trend in work environments is turning private offices into large open work spaces. Employees are encouraged to work in teams and bounce ideas off one another in a sometimes noisy free for all. But introverts prefer quiet and time alone to recharge and deliberate their solutions. An open office environment can squash their creative process.

Reviewing your work history, how well did your jobs fit your temperament? Could it be that an uncomfortable employment situation was highly impacted by a working environment that clashed with your style? Do you think you ever blew a job interview because you were unable to truly share who you are?

According to Cain, “Our lives are shaped as profoundly by personality as by gender or race”. So being aware if you are an extrovert or an introvert is the first step to making good choices for yourself. If you aren’t sure where you fall, you can take assessments like the Myers Briggs or free tests online.

Where you are on the extrovert/introvert continuum has nothing to do with your intelligence or capability. It is only a way of operating in the world. Since an extrovert temperament is admired and rewarded, introverts may feel “less than” and try to become someone they are not.

An occasional stretch outside your comfort zone in order to accomplish goals is different from behaving as a fraud. Not being true to your authentic self is exhausting and ultimately harmful to your existence. Accepting who you are and placing yourself in situations that promote your strengths ensure a life well lived.

So what is a person to do?:

Determine where you fall on the introvert/extrovert continuum
Identify the strengths that come with your temperament
Decide which environments nurture you
Find ways to spend sufficient time in those environments
Ask if your current work fits you well enough so that you can be productive
Choose where you want to stretch and make changes as needed to get a better fit

Be yourself and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions Tagged With: ,
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