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executing your dreams: career and lifestyle

August 2, 2018 by

Current advice preaches staying aware in the present, being mindful of all that evolves now. However, creating a master plan or future vision guides us in our daily decision making.

Having life goals or dreams can take different forms. Some people think in long term goals, others focus closer in. Some like spontaneity and others prefer a planful approach. Without a plan we tend to drift and lose touch with what is most important to us.

As a Career and Life Coach, I ask clients to design 90 day, 1 year and 5 year goals. For some the exercise is easy. For others a longer term time frame is hazy. Perhaps giving yourself permission to dream big is a beginning.

While my life has progressed organically toward my passions and values, I hold some clear aims to accomplish. One was just achieved after over 40 years of execution. Finally reaching a long term lifestyle goal can be satisfying and amazing. It can also lead to more life review and discernment. What’s next?

Growing up in Minnesota, I became accustomed to cold and snow about 6 months out of the year. Now I don’t know how the current Minnesota weather is, but in the 50’s and 60’s it was a long winter. I left Minnesota to attend college in Southern Wisconsin. Not much change there. But in my sophomore year I studied and worked in Bogota and Medellin, Colombia. A change was coming, along with more information.

People used to ask me how I survived the cold in Minnesota. I couldn’t answer because I didn’t know anything else until I lived in Colombia. Medellin is known as the City of Eternal Spring and is it gorgeous there. Now this was more like it for me. I had found my sunshine and warmth as well as  foreign intrigue.

Now that I’ve lived most of my adult life in Northern Virginia, I still don’t like winter, even a milder form.  I long for a break during the most difficult months of January and February and I still love to experience the world.

With young children it was difficult to get away except for their school vacations. But once in a while, I’d take a long weekend to Florida. One year I even did a month volunteer project in Thailand. I found a way, however brief, to meet my winter needs with breaks and adventure.

Once the children were launched, I took 2 week winter vacations to various hot spots around the world. Subsequently having my own business, the escapes evolved to 2 weeks in January, come home and 2 more weeks in February. I later found ways to coach while traveling internationally. Now this was working pretty well for my goals.

But in 2018 I totally reached my goal of 2 winter months in the warmth. And since I’m still interested in seeing new worlds, this year was Southern South America. 

Even though achieving my goal took many years, I pulled it off and did it step by step. I see how seemingly impossible, long term dreams can be fulfilled through focus and determination. This success gives me confidence in setting new goals that at first seem overwhelming. I am so pleased with following my interests and being creative in the execution of this plan, that I can’t wait for the next one.

Susanna wants to become a children’s book author. She loves to write and took English literature in college. Her jobs to date haven’t included much writing, but they pay her bills. Still this ache to write fiction dwells within Susanna. She’s not willing to give up her dream. So she creates a plan of action to take writing courses, practice her writing, join a community of writers and volunteer to edit and research for established authors. While Susanna is not yet published, she is immersed in the world of writing. She follows her deadlines of production and submission and grows her skills and portfolio.

So what’s on your list? Have you dared to do some “out of the box” dreaming? All it takes is self awareness, a vision, identifying the steps and execution. Make room for review and reward and you’ll be on a good track.

 

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan in which we must fervently believe and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success”

Pablo Picasso 

Ready to commit to a lifelong dream?

Set your start date for action
Outline the steps
Find an accountability partner
Get in action
Smile at your courage

Full speed ahead and see you on the path!

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Life Design, Self Knowledge Tagged With: , , , , , ,

words of inspiration: commencement reflections

June 5, 2017 by

This Spring I attended a family graduation at the foot of the Washington Monument. A more stirring sight is hard to find. But what was really inspiring were the words of the speakers who had overcome adversity and strived to express their values through service.

Maybe it’s a long time since your own graduation and it’s difficult to remember the words that served to propel you out into the world. What if you could have that encouragement and inspiration anytime you needed it? Instead of being alone and struggling to know what step to take next in your life/career design, there are resources for you.

I tried to take notes during the weekend festivities. Mature and young, accomplished and enthusiastic students, speakers and professors were sharing their stories and lessons learned. How enriching to know that others have been afraid and lost and confused. What a gift to see the paths they took toward work they loved. I was left with hope and urgency.

People with humble beginnings or with challenges so daunting rose to become engaged and productive. Senator Tammy Duckworth speaking at George Washington University encouraged everyone to “enter the Arena”. What does that mean to you? What Arena is calling you? Where do you belong? Exposing yourself to interests allows you to know whether it’s a “No” or “Let me learn more…”

Frank Sesno, GW professor and journalist, suggested we get curious and ask questions. What are your questions? What information do you need from within and from the world? At any point in our lives we can ask for a Check In. Am I living the life I want? Am I doing the work I love? What needs tweaking?

So how can you find inspiration if there are no graduations in sight? Or a few days after hearing a compelling message, you are mired in your day to day. Google “commencement speeches”. Just as we learn from podcasts, youtube, online education, we can access speeches from years past. Steve Jobs had a famous one. Kumail Nanjiani’s speech is gaining note this year. Hillary Clinton returned to Wellesly to address the graduates.

Watching a speech doesn’t have to be a passive endeavor. You can share your “take aways” with family and friends. You can digest and apply it to your life and create action steps. You can journal and reflect. These are peers sharing their journeys. And that journey never ends. It doesn’t go on autopilot. It needs your input and energy. Or you risk living a life that doesn’t fit you.

“Sometimes, the only way to discover who you are or what life you should lead is to do less planning and more living-to burst the double bubble of comfort and convention and just do stuff, even if you don’t know precisely where it’s going to lead, because you don’t know precisely where it’s going to lead”

Daniel Pink

What if you were to write your own graduation speech, a graduation from life up until now? What would you include? What would stand out from your life so far? What would you want to pass on? Here are some of mine and others:

Take a risk
Help someone
Find what you love
Make a community
Keep learning
Get in action
Ask great questions
Treat people as people
Jump over fear
Show up
Work hard
Change the channel
Be grateful
Laugh at yourself
Use creativity

What’s your list? People’s lives are zigzagging all over the place. If you stand still, you won’t grow. So get out there and experience something/someone new. You may not stick with it, but you won’t be bored. Find people, experiences, places that cheer you on, pick you up.

Write your Next Chapter:

Learn from the past
Take inspiration from others
Choose something new
Emerse yourself
Grow and be proud

Forge ahead and meet you on the path!

Filed Under: Life Design, Self Knowledge, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , ,

wake up call: time to take action

May 29, 2015 by

Hvar, Croatia

Think of times when you really wanted something but discovered you lacked the preparation for it. This month while hiking in Croatia, I found myself in that situation. I had dreamed of coastlines and sun, great seafood and interesting companionship, new vistas and learning.

While I experienced all that, I also received a huge wake up call. My training fell short of what was needed to thoroughly enjoy the adventure. Instead, I labored up the inclines and stepped gingerly over the rocks. My attention was on my safety versus the view. I was surprised by this peculiar experience. Previous hiking situations were manageable. What was different this time? What do I need to change?

So my wake up call pertains to conditioning and health. Other wake up calls may reflect work or relationships. They catch your attention and bring you up short. But do they really need to surprise you so much? What initial signs are you ignoring? What short cuts are you taking?

What keeps you in a job that no longer fits or a relationship that is broken? A wake up experience can hit you in the face and prevent you from hiding in the dark. You can’t make excuses and push things under the rug anymore. It’s time to address what is standing in your way of happiness, success, or accomplishment.

These tipping points serve to force a choice. Either you address the problem or you change your vision. Facing the fact that your success requires more work and/or knowledge leads you closer to your dreams. Giving up because it’s difficult results in disappointment and shame.

I didn’t give up. I kept going, even though it wasn’t pretty, even though I was the last in line. But perhaps if I had prepared harder before, my vacation would have been easier and more enjoyable.

Marion is extremely unhappy in her job. She dreams of more responsibility, meaning, and autonomy. Her efforts to find new work are falling flat. She’s unsure what else to do. She’s angry and frustrated and, if truth be told, wants something fantastic to fall into her lap. Rarely does that happen in real life.

Instead the breaks come after a great deal of hard work and preparation. Marion can feel a victim or become empowered to take action to make something happen for herself. She can acquire relevant skills, get more experience through volunteering, network aggressively in her field, and/or hire a professional guide.

On one day during my hiking trip I had a personal “sherpa guide” Jasna to help me over the rough spots. We laughed and joked and became acquainted. It made the path much easier and fun for me.

A wake up call allows you to take action to get back in control. When you establish a plan to address what is needed and begin working that plan, you become invested. No longer are you hoping for a miracle, but you are helping yourself for today and tomorrow.

The practice you gain through effort teaches you that most things can be solved or attained through learning and hard work. You can achieve your dreams and reach your goals. No matter what your circumstances, fighting for what’s important is the process of creating a well-lived life.

So I took the easy route before my trip and now I’m addressing it with hard work. My fellow travelers gave me a glimpse of what’s possible. Older, fitter hikers gave me hope. If they can do it, I can too. I remarked to one guide Lea that she was very fit. She replied, “If I don’t take care of myself, who will?”

Who will indeed? What dreams do you have that require a plan of action? When will you begin? How hard will you work? What deadlines will you give yourself?

“It’s always a wake up call to get beaten”
Usain Bolt

Steps to take before a wake up call:

Identify your vision
Outline the steps needed to get there
Begin now, prepare yourself
Ask for the support you need
Appauld your progress

Enjoy life and see you on the mountain!

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design, Self Knowledge Tagged With: , , ,

career exit strategies: letting go to move ahead, part 1

October 31, 2014 by

Doors

When negatives outweigh the positives in your career, you think about moving on. But what is involved? When you were younger you changed jobs, relationships, and housing frequently. But as you age, transitions become more complicated. Perhaps your decisions impact your family’s work or schooling, or you have greater financial responsibilities that depend on your earnings, or your identity is tied to this job.

Often you feel trapped, but don’t take action either to fix where you are or to move on. So you stay in pain and complain. This pain influences your mental and physical health, your relationships, and your hope. You have choices. They may not be your ideal dream, but there are always choices.

In order to creatively construct solutions for your career distress it’s necessary to be in top shape. Exercise, adequate sleep, socialization, and stress reduction are important. When you aren’t at your best, you become vulnerable to making poor choices and being adversely impacted by tensions around you.

If you work in a demanding environment, it’s almost as if you need to wear protective armor. This armor can consist of your confidence and focus. Holding a clear idea of your values and goals allows you to sort through interferences. Giving yourself the space and cushion to be mindful of your needs and mission allows you to be proactive in meeting them. Every workplace has some stress, dysfunction, and parts we dislike, but you have the power to minimize the hassles you absorb.

Allison Rimm, author of “The Joy of Strategy-A Business Plan for Life” uses the concept of the Joy to Hassle Ratio.  She has her clients measure where they stand on any day. If the hassles are overpowering your joy, it’s time to take action.

“If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today? And whenever the answer has been ‘no’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something”

Steve Jobs

That “something” represents a continuum of change ranging from keeping the status quo to finding another job. The vision of walking out the door comes to us when we are fed up. It happens in relationships and work, but impulsively walking out is not recommended. You may ultimately decide to leave, but there are intermediate steps to take before you act.

Amy is in her late 40’s and has practiced the same profession for 20 years. She has worked in different settings and is on an upward career path toward success. But while Amy is excellent at her job and is achieving success by society’s standards, Amy is no longer satisfied with her vocation.

But what can Amy do? Perhaps she can take efforts to create more of what she wants at work. Or if Amy knows she wants something different, she can begin a search and establish networks in that field. She can also prepare herself for a new field through training and volunteering. All of that can be done while still working, but it takes stamina. That’s where personal wellness promotion is vital.

In order to take on new learning and community building, you have to make room in your life. Too many people pile on goals and fail. Unless you let go of some things on your plate, you won’t have the space and energy for anything new. Determining what you can let go of and taking action are essential to success in any new endeavor.

“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage, pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically, to say no to the other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside”

Stephen Covey

If Amy doesn’t know what she wants to do, there are more answers to discover. She can begin an inner journey alone, or with a professional guide, or with trusted friends and colleagues. By getting curious about who she is now…20 years into a career…Amy can analyze the lessons learned about herself.

These are the questions to ask: When are you at your best on the job? What lights you up? What gets you in flow? What do you care about? If you could change something in the world, what issue would you seek out?

Next month we’ll look at what to do with the information you are amassing and what next steps are possible.

When you have one foot out the door:

Test your joy to hassle ratio
Ask yourself some hard questions
Dream about what is missing
Learn from your experiences to date
Determine what information you need

Happy journey and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions Tagged With: , , ,

channeling your inner sherpa: practices to guide you on your career path

September 30, 2014 by

Sunny summer morning in the Italian Alps. Dolomites mountains, I

Ways to refresh and recharge vary according to our interests and needs. One of mine is moving in nature. It allows a shift from too much brain focus to a body engagement, where all senses are ignited.

This month I relished two weeks of hiking in Italy. One with a guide who shared wisdom that is valuable every day. Our small group in the Dolomites differed in abilities, but shared a desire to push ourselves beyond our status quo. The question of “Can I do it?” reverberated in the mountains. It reminded me of the adage to make your goals just beyond your fingertips…not too overwhelming, but not too easy.

As we started out, our guide Gary shared about the Sherpas in Nepal and what he’s learned from them. The Sherpas are the ethnic group known for their mountaineering skills. Besides guiding visitors, they carry the gear and food to nourish the group.

As we began our ascents, I became out of breath with rapid heart rate. Gary offered that the Sherpas take very small steps and strive to keep their breathing and heart rate level. So that became one of my practices on the trail, a type of walking meditation with focus on the breath. Gary has used this to climb the first 27,000 feet of Mt. Everest without oxygen. My goals were much more modest, but keeping a steady fuel of oxygen was one.

I found during that week an energy and excitement not present on most days. The beauty and fresh air inspired us, as did the camaraderie. We were all leaving the pressures of work and life responsibilities to heal our souls. It worked. The glow remains one week later after re-entry. But how to keep it alive or to create it without an exotic trip? What can we plug into our normal lives that keeps us engaged and energized?

The people I coach are ready for a change, usually starting with increased satisfaction in their work lives. They ask me how long does change usually take. How long do I work with people? They preface by saying they know it varies, but they still want to know when relief will appear for them. I understand the desire for a more gratifying work day..one where you are using your skills, living your values, and involved in something of interest that makes a difference.

How often we lose a sense at work that what we do matters? It may appear worthwhile at the outset, but after several years we grow stale. We need a shake up, a new path, a new reason to perform. As we grow and change as people, we need new challenges. But we fear our readiness for that challenge. We doubt our ability, but will never know our potential unless we try.

Like the Sherpas we can learn to take small steps and monitor our heart rate and breathing. If our body tells us to slow down, we can listen. Just as we can listen when it tells us to make a change because we are bored or stressed. Have you ever noticed when you take on something you love, time flies and you’re filled with energy? You are in flow according to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of “Flow, the Psychology of Optimal Experience”. Here’s his TED talk:

http://www.ted.com/talks/mihaly_csikszentmihalyi_on_flow

We don’t have to doubt our ability and stamina when we find the right interests. And we can find them by trying out many different things. There’s no recipe book for you. No index to check about what to do next. It’s just the willingness to put one foot in front of the other in a new direction. If you find that’s not bringing you joy, turn to the left or to the right.

During one of our amazing hikes, we were alone without our guide. We reached an unmarked crossroad and had to make a decision. In the direction we turned the trail became narrow and dark and muddy…difficult even. Surely this can’t be the right one, we thought. But we kept on, encouraging each other, finding unique ways to make it. And we came out onto a huge clearing, a bright meadow with flowers. In the distance we could see our guide waiting for us. He knew we would make it and ultimately, we did too.

So pick up your walking stick and:

Decide if this is your time for a change
Identify what area of your life needs a boost
Create your initial vision
Make a strategy map
Step on the path with a smile and hope

Good hiking and see you on the trail!

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design Tagged With: , , , ,

turning points: events that change your life

May 15, 2014 by

Sign post

Ever wonder what influences you to change direction after being on a steady path? Sometimes it’s your deliberate act and other times it’s more unanticipated. You go along in life taking care of business, often operating on auto pilot and wham, something hits you over the head. Maybe it’s a break up, a new boss, you get sick, or your last child leaves home. But something happens to get your attention.

Then the questions start flowing: Why am I here? What am I doing? Am I happy? What do I want? You begin to question everything that is familiar. You wonder what would happen if you changed direction. An opening beckons. 

Molly worked hard for 15 years climbing the ladder in her company. She was successful and engaged at work. The only things missing were a partner and children, or so she thought. Then Molly met Howard. He was someone who shared many interests. They began to spend time together and Molly’s life outside of work became rich and full.

Both Molly and Howard are committed professionals in their fields and yet something else began calling them. They talked of living overseas and helping those in need. Their meeting changed the plans they had previously designed. Together they created a new vision, which they are carrying out together.

Have you ever met someone who changed your life? Maybe it was a teacher, or a classmate/colleague, or a new friend. But you know that person touched your life in a way that changed it forever. Maybe they introduced you to something new or their presence stimulated you to think in creative ways and take risks. One benefit of interacting with new people is an infusion of innovative ideas and possibilities.

Ingie was frustrated in her job. During two years, her efforts to gain greater responsibility were stymied. She watched others get promoted who were less skilled than she. She questioned what she was missing and how long she should wait. Then Ingie met Sharon at a networking event. They shared some professional interests and held a captivating conversation. When Ingie took Sharon’s card, she noticed she was a manager. She decided to contact Sharon and set up an informational interview which eventually led to a job offer for Ingie. She made the move and is now working at a level more aligned with her skills and passions. Ingie is thrilled.

Sometimes it takes a significant loss to get our attention and lead us to a turning point. It can be a lost relationship, a health scare, a death of someone close, or a layoff. In these extreme times of stress we may be awakened to what we value. Instead of proceeding on automatic, we stop and take notice of what’s most important. This is an opportunity to reflect and adjust our lives and often a time of energy renewal.

“Sometimes the course of our lives depends on what we do or don’t do in a few seconds, a heartbeat, when we either seize the opportunity, or just miss it. Miss the moment and you may never get a chance again.” 
Aidan Chambers 

Have you ever been fired from a job only to have that be the BEST thing to happen to you? You sink or swim to the next possibility. The same happens with divorce or break ups. At the time you wonder how you’ll survive. But when you eventually do, you are grateful for the new opportunity. Once you lift your head above the pain, your eyes notice a fresh vista.

Ways to make use of Turning Points:

Look back on your life and learn from those events
Take careful stock when something shakes up your life
Keep an open mind to the possibilities
Map out a few alternatives
Try two or three
Celebrate your new direction

Embrace change and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design, Self Knowledge Tagged With: , , ,

from the horse’s mouth: informational interviewing

April 24, 2014 by

Group of three young horses on the pasture

Have you ever thought, Oh dear, I’m in the wrong career! Sometimes that truth comes as a whisper and others it knocks you off your feet. What started as a good job and long term plan has become a straight jacket. All that training, all that money and effort, and one day you find you aren’t where you want to be.

How do you find a new career path once you’ve been working for several years? First, congratulations for listening to your heart and head and considering a change. Second, there is hope. People transition into new career fields all the time. In fact it’s a common part of human development. What interests us early in our lives may change.

“I keep telling you the future isn’t set in stone. It’s not all decided yet. The future is just what’s down the road we decided to walk on today. You can change roads anytime. And that changes where you end up.”
Catherine Ryan Hyde

Many people tell me they are too old to go back to school. Even though I believe education is valuable and necessary throughout one’s life span, let’s look at alternatives to formal “schooling”. Multiple resources exist around you in the form of experienced professionals, people who are doing what you think you’d be good at and enjoy.

I first heard about Informational Interviewing in the 70’s from Richard Bolles’ “What Color is your Parachute?”. Perhaps it has existed throughout time in the form of apprentice programs. The value of talking with people who are working in fields you are curious about is obvious. They have answers about opportunities, necessary training, pros and cons, and trends.

The way to get current career information is to set up an interview. Today with the internet and social media, finding people to call is very easy. Pick people who are seasoned and successful in your chosen field. Find out how they got there and how it has turned out. What were their steps? What advice do they have for you?

Howard is a teacher of 20 years who now wants to become an innkeeper. He loves to cook and meet new people and he’s always wanted to live near the mountains. When Howard and his wife travel, they tend to choose bed and breakfast establishments for lodging. They enjoy the cozy, home-like atmosphere and the special attention provided by the owners.

Rather than just dream about this career, Howard can create a plan to learn more about inn keeping. Instead of seeking out formal education as he did when he became a teacher, Howard can explore informal resources by talking with innkeepers.

Informational interviewing requires a list of questions you want answered and a list of people currently doing the work. Help with both can be found on the internet. The hardest part for many is getting started, making the first request. Once people realize that folks who enjoy their work love to talk about it and give advice, the process feels effortless.

A second piece of career investigation is setting up an internship. Many of us had internships during our college years.  We had a chance to try on a job with no long term commitments. It provided valuable information for deciding whether to follow that field. Today mature workers can “try on” something new through brief shadowing of a professional or through volunteer work.

Howard decided to spend part of his summer vacation working for free with an innkeeper. He got an up close look at the duties involved as well as more time to be mentored by the owner. Howard couldn’t have paid for that experience and knowledge. He decided this was a good fit and he’s established a 3 year plan toward his career transition.

Whether the information you obtain leads you forward or you decide to keep looking, your investigation will maximize the likelihood of a great fit. The day may come when you’ll be asked to share your career experience. Enjoy the curiosity and passion from a potential colleague as you guide them on their path.

Steps to take:

Choose a potential career
Identify your questions about it
Locate successful professionals in that field
Schedule a brief interview
Express appreciation and ask for more names
Synthesize the information gathered
Take your next step

Stay inquisitive and savor the path!

Filed Under: Career Transitions Tagged With: , ,

new year, new beginnings

January 8, 2014 by

Sunrise over the meadow

The beauty of a New Year is the feeling of a fresh start. The old is behind us and we can choose to let go of regrets. In fact we are inspired to review and renew. But how to begin and what to focus on?

One way to begin is to focus on what went well, the wins of the prior year. What stands out as something you are proud of, thrilled that happened, couldn’t live without? Perhaps you finished a long term project which brought you new opportunities or joy. Maybe you were recognized for your innovation, leadership or creativity. Perhaps you finally mastered a new tech tool. Whatever it is, write down the wins of the year past, small or large.

What do the wins tell you? They probably reflect your values. We tend to honor those things we value. For example, if recognition is important to you, an award or bonus will count as a win. If family is a value, a reunion with your relatives will be one of your wins.

Our wins also reflect our personal mission: why we are here. If feeding hungry people is your mission, then progress in that area constitutes a win for you.

Once you have your wins and their significance, you can design a thread that continues into the New Year. What do you want to continue, have more of? What do you want to substitute? June was a writer who completed her book and tour in 2013. While that was a professional accomplishment and very satisfying, this year she wants to switch gears and express herself in a different way.

It’s common for our interests and passions to evolve. We may choose to keep 80% of our routine, but bring in 20% of something new. The new could be in the area of work, relationships, play, health, giving back, adventure, creativity, spirituality, or learning. What do you want to try on? It’s like shopping and trying on new shoes. What’s going to fit for you? What have you been missing as you scan your current level of satisfaction with life?

For Roger it was missing creative expression. His career involved analytic thinking and Roger longed for a break from his left brain focus. He was a lover of sculpture and wondered what it would be like to get his hands on some wood. So for the New Year, he enrolled in a woodworking class. Now Roger is finding new energy and passion in his craft. He’s meeting new people, leaving work on time, and feeling great satisfaction seeing immediate and tangible results.

What’s calling you? Sometimes we are overweighted in certain areas of our life: too much work, not enough activity. Too much family, not enough friends. Too much head, not enough heart.

Marc Freedman author of “The Dangerous Myth of Reinvention” points out that a complete life reinvention isn’t needed. Rather we can continue to build on who we already are. By heeding the lessons learned from our successes and failures, we increase our self respect and compassion.

So what are the lessons learned from last year? What stands out as the best investment in yourself? Was it education, a relationship, a challenge, a new adventure, a contact, or a new skill? When an investment pays you back in self understanding, satisfaction, clarity, connection, or wisdom, it is a valuable one.

So choose wisely as to where you want to use the precious commodity of time in the New Year. One year from now, what will bring you a smile as you look back?

     “The chief beauty about time is that you cannot waste it in advance. The next year, the next day, the next hour are lying ready for you, as perfect, as unspoiled, as if you had never wasted or misapplied a single moment in all your life. You can turn over a new leaf every hour if you choose.”     Arnold Bennett

Here are some ways to get started:

Identify your wins
What values are expressed?
Design a ritual to represent what you let go of and take on
Take the first step within two weeks

Happy beginnings and see you on the path!

Filed Under: Life Design Tagged With: ,

l hate my job: options when you feel trapped

November 21, 2013 by

Young women flying a rainbow kite

It’s one of the most difficult things to say and for another to hear: “I hate my job”. Perhaps hate is too strong a word, but you may feel close to it. We spend so much time at work we expect that we will like our job, at least some or most of it. We don’t take a job thinking we’ll hate it. We weigh the pros and cons and go in with the belief that this is what we’re looking for or need at the present time.

So what changes? Our work is so important, that we often take our self esteem and identity from our successes or failures. We exit a job changed, usually for the better but sometimes for the worse. The job we begin is rarely the job we leave. Much happens along the way.

What leads to lack of fit or even to hate in a job? A frequent reason for hating a job is feeling underappreciated. These days organizations are operating with less, resulting in existing staff having to take on larger workloads. The stress that comes from extreme workloads wears down employees. Workers desire appreciation from their bosses, a recognition of all they do under difficult circumstances. When that is missing or even replaced with criticism, harshness, and pressure, people turn inward and become hopeless.

If we are unhappy, why don’t we just find a new job? Some people feel trapped. The golden handcuffs of salary, health insurance or retirement benefits keep people tied to current jobs. They think they have to stay 5, 10, 15 more years or lose everything. Additionally, they don’t know where else to go or fear they won’t be hired again. Their confidence has been pounded down. Their job seeking skills are rusty and out of date.

David is someone wanting to change jobs, but lacking confidence. As a manager, he creates innovative programs, helps clients, and is loved by his staff. However, a new management sees David differently. Their measuring sticks emphasize widely distinct results. And David is being asked to change his formerly successful approach. He views this as a renunciation of his value.

Other reasons people become disillusioned with their jobs is they are bored. Their interests have changed. We aren’t necessarily meant to stay in the same role 10-30 years. Hopefully our work gives us opportunities to develop and take on different responsibilities during its life cycle.  But sometimes that isn’t possible or people fail to stretch themselves.

The trapped feeling results in resentment and anger. Even though change is possible and there is an exit, we fail to recognize it. How do we survive and thrive in uncomfortable situations? Recognizing your own worth and seeking feedback from a broad cross section of people are essential. We need to become our own cheerleaders and not depend upon our superiors to provide that. It’s nice when they do, but we can’t count on it.

Believing we have choices gives us freedom. There is always a choice. We choose to stay for various priorities, such as security. We can choose to leave for others, like autonomy. Repeating the mantra “I made this happen; I can create something better” is a tool for believing you can take action.

“Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out”  Michael Burke

Even making a small shift can benefit you.  It may be meeting more of your needs and interests outside of work. Boosting that part of your life allows joy and abundance to flow into your personal life. It may be taking a class, immersing yourself in a hobby, joining a club. We rarely fulfill all of our passions on the job.

Finally, focusing on what is working on the job promotes a positive outlook.  Perhaps there are co-workers you enjoy. Spend more time with them, find ways to work together on projects, and use each other for support. Invent ways to learn new skills. Make your workspace nurture you with objects that mean something special, like photos, pieces of nature, special colors. Don’t forget to get some movement and fresh air into your daily life. Take breaks. Dr. Andrew Weil says we are suffering from Nature Deficit Disorder. Take action during the daylight. Learn what healthy behaviors boost your mood and make a practice of them.

Believe you can do it. See you on a new path!

 

 

 

Filed Under: Career Transitions, Life Design, Self Knowledge Tagged With: , ,